No Gift Birthday Parties...Are They Really a Good Thing?
11/07/2008
I know that parents feel that their children have too many toys but the more you
make that the focus, you'll find your child will desire more and more. And no one
wants to deal with an obsessive child. I recommend a relaxed approach about gifts.
It's really an adult philosophy, not a child's issue. For example, I don't buy toys
for my son, because his grandmas buy a lot for him. I do not discuss this with him
because children don't really need to know where the toy comes from. If he gets
greedy or unthankful, I gently remind him that he has a lot of toys and ask which
toys he'd like to give away to make room for more. He usually ends up saying, "mom,
I don't need new toys, I want to keep all my old ones!"
When choosing to have a "No Gift Party" it's fine to state that on the invite. If you call people to invite them, you only need to state once, "No gifts please." Or you can say, "No gifts please, but if you are inclined to do so, books are appreciated." Then, if a guest chooses to bring a gift, that's fine. You can put it in the other room and open it later when everyone leaves. Do send a thank you note!
If you have a relaxed approach, then every one wins! The gift givers feel appreciated and the child gets something special. There really are no rules, but you don't want to offend guests who like to bring gifts. If you take this gentle stance, then Sophie will end up be a very flexible person :-)
My five-year-old son loves his birthday so much, that he forgets about the gifts - Until some kids starts yelling, "Lets open gifts!" I just grit my teeth. I love that he doesn't care about the gifts on that day. He opens them long after the party is over. It's all about lovin the moment - All the moments. A truly loved child really doesn't get too devastated about having few gifts especially if the family focuses on the party and the festivities. So don't worry, have a blast partying down with Sophie!
When choosing to have a "No Gift Party" it's fine to state that on the invite. If you call people to invite them, you only need to state once, "No gifts please." Or you can say, "No gifts please, but if you are inclined to do so, books are appreciated." Then, if a guest chooses to bring a gift, that's fine. You can put it in the other room and open it later when everyone leaves. Do send a thank you note!
If you have a relaxed approach, then every one wins! The gift givers feel appreciated and the child gets something special. There really are no rules, but you don't want to offend guests who like to bring gifts. If you take this gentle stance, then Sophie will end up be a very flexible person :-)
My five-year-old son loves his birthday so much, that he forgets about the gifts - Until some kids starts yelling, "Lets open gifts!" I just grit my teeth. I love that he doesn't care about the gifts on that day. He opens them long after the party is over. It's all about lovin the moment - All the moments. A truly loved child really doesn't get too devastated about having few gifts especially if the family focuses on the party and the festivities. So don't worry, have a blast partying down with Sophie!
Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, MFT is a national parenting expert and a licensed Family and Child Therapist who specializes in working with children ages newborn to six years old. Kimberley is the founder and executive producer of a grassroots webshow, called www.TheGoToMom.TV. Kimberley is a national speaker and teaches Early Childhood Brain Development and Positive Discipline Strategies at UCLA Extension Education Department.
